Weddings can be stressful. I know, it sounds cliché; but having worked with dozens of couples, I know that between deciding your guest list, managing family expectations and corralling suppliers, you can easily feel overwhelmed and lose sight of what your wedding day is about in the first place: your love for each other!
So how do you keep the love and romance alive while planning your wedding? Here are my top tips for you.
When wedding planning…
- Decide from the beginning who will do what based on your individual strengths and what you know you’ll enjoy. For example, if food is your thing you can take charge of catering and the cake. If your partner loves music, they can look after the entertainment and sourcing a great band or DJ. And if you have common passions, do together those tasks that appeal to you both so you’ll have fun co-planning them jointly.
- Try to even out the tasks between the two of you, so neither one of you is left feeling they’re doing more than the other, and always try to make ultimate decisions together.
- Set the rules right at the start for when you will and won’t talk about your wedding. Set aside time every week for a catch up and discuss wedding planning – perhaps go to your local pub for lunch every Sunday to discuss the latest plans.
- Equally as important, make sure you have free nights or weekends during the planning process where you won’t talk about wedding planning. Keep one night a week and/or one weekend a month wedding-talk free and just spend it together, ideally unplugged so there’s no temptation to check emails or look for wedding inspiration on Instagram or Pinterest.
- Be willing to compromise… but be fair, listening to each other’s opinion and avoiding being demanding.
- Communicate with each other about any worries or problems that come up. Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved! There is no point in keeping it to yourself. Two minds are better than one at finding solutions.
- If there are wedding tasks that need to be done together, try and make them more fun. Do you need to choose your wedding cocktail? How about taking a cocktail making class? Could you take dance lessons for your first dance? And if you need help for your DIY wedding projects, bribe your friends to come and help you in exchange for an evening of wine, pizza or treats.
- Think about your wedding ceremony script. Spend some time crafting the words you’ll be saying, the vows you’ll exchange and the promises you will be making to each other. Ask yourself: “What do these words really mean to me?” Think about married life and the meaning your ceremony and beyond.
- Plan your honeymoon. Remember, at the beginning I’ve said: “Weddings can be stressful…”After the wedding you *will need* to wind down. Treat yourselves to a few days’ break that you know you’ll both enjoy. It can be an adventurous honeymoon or a beach break. Whatever it is, make it something you know you’ll both be looking forward to.
So we’ve looked at ways to keep you sane while focusing on wedding tasks. Now, what about those wedding-talk free nights and weekends?
- Don’t let date night become another thing you have to *plan*. Write out a list of ideas and pop them in a jar/envelope to randomly pull from at the beginning of the week, so come date night you know exactly what you’ll be doing. Make it a combination of easy, free ideas you could do at home or locally and more adventurous ones that may need booking ahead.
- Take it in turns to make plans, and be flexible. If one of you is busy with your individual wedding planning tasks, let the other take charge of date night so that you know it will definitely go ahead.
Don’t let romance die
Keeping romance alive is important both pre- and post-wedding. Routine is fine, but don’t forget to give each other attention. Here’s just a few tips for you:
- Get fit and healthy for you wedding and exercise together. Can you join a local class or have a joint personal trainer so you can do healthy activities together? Or could you take weekend walks in the nearby woods / seaside? Peace and quiet from the daily grind and getting endorphins pumping work a treat!
- Reminisce about how and where you met and what the early days of your relationship were like. Could you revisit those places, or have a meal in the same restaurant where you celebrated your engagement?
- Surprise each other by booking nights or weekends away – a spa weekend, a day trip to Paris, your favourite cocktail bar… Surprises keep your excitement levels high and are a beautiful way to show how much you are in each other’s mind.
- Remember to tell each other “I love you” – every day! Send each other text messages or leave notes to be found around your home. It’s not cheesy – it’s love.
- Just because you’re married it doesn’t mean that you should stop courting each other. So whatever you do, do keep your date nights going. In my welcome box for new clients I have included a selection of cards with date night ideas that you can try out as and when you like. Keep an eye on my blog and Facebook page too, as soon there will be a new blog post with 10 date night ideas and a competition to win your very own welcome box!
Your wedding day should be about you and your relationship and the love you have for each other. Don’t let that fall by the wayside during the planning stages. By following these tips you can keep the romance alive while planning for your wedding and in the years to come.
Photographs by Cecelina Photography