Earlier this year, the lovely Siobhan H got in touch with me to ask if I would be interested collaborating with her on a styled shoot she was putting together based around the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi. Knowing next to nothing about it, but very much intrigued, I did a little research…
In many ways, wabi-sabi is an undefinable term. Wabi means rustic simplicity, understated elegance, and can refer to “quirks and anomalies arising from for the process of construction which add uniqueness and elegance to the object”. An example of this is the practise of filling the cracks of a broken bowl with gold to emphasise the imperfection. Sabi refers to beauty or serenity that comes with age.
According to Richard Powell, author of Wabi Sabi Simple: “wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.”
Buddhist author Taro Gold describes wabi-sabi as: “the wisdom and beauty of imperfection.”
(you can see the full definition of wabi-sabi on Wikipedia here)
As I read more about wabi-sabi and looked at the images inspired by the idea, it got me thinking about the concept of “perfection” in relation to weddings. So often, when it comes to planning a wedding, the idea that it will be THE PERFECT DAY becomes a big deal.
Planning a wedding is already pretty stressful when you consider the scale of the day, the various suppliers and guests that need to come together, and juggling an already busy life. Then, when you add to that the idea that everything must be perfect on the day, I can’t help but feel you’re putting way too much unnecessary pressure on yourself!
Planning a wedding should be fun and exciting. The day itself should be filled with love, laughter, and the joy of being surrounded by friends and family. Whether it’s a perfect day or not shouldn’t really come into it. This really underpins my approach as a wedding planner. For me, these are the things that really matter and I love doing everything I can to make sure my clients don’t lose sight of it. Of course, having someone like me around does mean that I’ll make sure everything goes to plan, but if anything does go a bit wrong on the day, it doesn’t really matter…
Sometimes, it’s the imperfections of the day that can make it even more memorable and ‘perfect’.
It’s the little things that may not go quite to plan- the registrar delaying the ceremony, so the groom starts to worry the bride’s had second thoughts, but laughs about it later. The rain that stops the outdoor drinks, but makes for fabulous photos of the bridal party with colourful umbrellas. The flower girls walking the wrong way around the aisle, but looking adorable while they do it.
These things have all happened at weddings I’ve been at, and believe me, it’s often the little unplanned moments that make you smile and add to the ‘perfection’ of your day. So my advice to you, as you’re planning your wedding, is simple. Don’t plan for the perfect day. Find the wisdom and beauty of imperfection, and plan for the imperfectly, perfect wedding day…
To find out how I can take care of your planning stress and help you embrace an imperfectly, perfect wedding day, send me a message firstname.lastname@example.org
All images above from the wabi-sabi shoot that was featured on Bridal Musings this week here: wabi-sabi inspiration shoot